WE WON! WE WON!

Yes, the Tea Party won and now everything is great.

Okay I'm lying. Truth is, for all out talk and corporate support, we didn't exactly sweep the nation. Half our candidates were complete failures. But that's not the real truth.

I started the Tea Party. Not the Australian Tea Party. The American Tea Party. It was a long shot, but what choice did I have? I did it all for one reason: to give Christine O'Donnell a possible shot at the Senate. I needed a trend for her to ride, something which could get her through the Republican primary and into a general election. Once that was done it was guaranteed that she'd make more TV ads.

All I really wanted were more videos of Christine O'Donnell and I got them, so even if the fake political movement failed, I still have a 25 minute ad from her and that's worth all the millions of dollars in foreign money.

Is the American Tea Party a radical Islamist front?

More than one Tea Party candidate has been claiming that there is no separation of church and state. At first this sounds good. Or does it?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Let's zoom in to the relevant part:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof

Do you see it? Right there. HERE: "Congress"

See any mention of the President? I don't. See how it all fits together?

Obama becomes President and his Muslim background is used to rally Christian dissent. Christians who unwisely attempt to ignore the first amendment, thinking that they will be able to reestablish Christianity. But they can't, because they're all going to Congress from the 2010 elections and Congress can't do anything. But the Muslim who triggered the resistance: President until after the 2012 elections, at the soonest. That's a two year frame for him to pass his own religion.

I'll make it simple: the first amendment is all that protects American from Sharia law and the Tea Party is attempting to destroy that. It doesn't take much to see the connections here. Here, I'll give you a nice direct chain.
Tea Party
FOX
News Corp
Al-Waleed bin Talal
Kingdom Foundation
Muslim Leaders of Tomorrow

And let me ask you, who are the Muslim leaders of tomorrow? Depending on how your local elections turn out, they could just be your new senator.

I want to make something clear: the Australian Tea Party is in no way connected to the American Tea Party. We may have once claimed common ideals, but clearly that is over.

Pray, don't Hope

Remember, Obama hopes while Real Americans pray.

We have a contradiction to resolve

We all know France is a bunch of socialist pussies. But laissez-faire economics! What are we to do?

American Taliban

This isn't about those few idiots in America who went off to join the Taliban. Instead I want to briefly mention that some libertarians have formed an unholy alliance with the Christian far right. These people are dangerous, far more so than the Taliban. The Taliban is far away and has no legal authority, while these home-grown extremists can vote and when elected, legislate.

Let's not be tricked by their flag-waving. They are no more American than the traitors who ran off to join the Taliban. If anything they are less, because at least the obvious traitors were honest about their intentions and loyalties.

If you're an opponent of Sharia law and all its oppression, then I'd hope you oppose the same oppression from the Christian right.

Remember, Hitler looked and talked just like the people who voted for him, but he led them down a dark path. Let's not get too distracted by the foreign, different enemy, and lose sight of the one up the street.

About the Mosque

Now aren't you wishing you'd supported my drive to repeal the Bill of Rights? That first is causing some trouble!

Mission Accomplished

Major political operations in Australia have ended. In the Battle of Australia, the Australian Tea Party and our allies have prevailed. And now our coalition is engaged in securing and reconstructing that country.

In this battle, we have fought for the cause of liberty, and for the peace of the world. Our nation and our coalition are proud of this accomplishment — yet it is you, the members of the United States military, who achieved it. Your courage — your willingness to face danger for your country and for each other — made this day possible. Because of you, our nation is more secure. Because of you, the tyrant has fallen, and Australia is free.

Palin 2012!

We're winding down operations in Australia, leaving me free to think more about the state of things back in America. And the state is bad. But there's a pretty easy fix.

Earlier today I heard about some Tea Party members saying how much they're looking forward to 2012. Big deal, the fascist Muslim doesn't leave until 2013 anyway. But now that we have the facts straight, the solution:

I would be honored to have Sarah Palin serve our great nation as President for 2013 to 2015.

Why the Bill of Rights makes us unsafe and unfree

As I promised yesterday, here is my explanation of how the first ten amendments are destroying America.

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The representative body has no ability to regulate religion, but the lone individual chosen by special interests, also known as the President, does? This hasn't been too much of a problem when we've had honest Christian presidents, but now that there's a Muslim in office, what is he up to? Freedom of speech is all well and good, except in the many times that it is abused by our enemies. Press, well that's an obvious danger, at least in retrospect, given the many years of liberal propaganda spread by 'journalists'. As for assembly, I see no good use for adopting the tactics of the unemployed and lazy who have nothing better to do than protest the hand that feeds them. While our many rallies might appear to be useful, in reality they only imitate the enemy.

Amendment II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

I believe gun control should be handled locally. In other words, let the fear-mongering liberals throw away all their guns and suffer the effects, while those with the sense to protect themselves can be safe and prosper.

Amendment III

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

I would support this amendment under two conditions: first by being part of the actual Constitution and second by removing the obvious loophole of "but in a manner to be prescribed by law".

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Obvious excessive law, considering that theft and trespassing are illegal anyway.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Translation: coddling known criminals in blankets of bureaucratic red tape.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

See: V

Amendment VII

In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Why does the government get to decide the amount? And how do they evaluate that anyway? That's blatant interference with the free market.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

See: V

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

An obvious lie when rephrased to make some sense: "this gives rights but doesn't take any away." Yea, except the personal safety needed to exercise our rights, which by the way, come from God, not a piece of paper scribbled on by English traitors.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

This is the only worthwhile amendment, but I wonder why it didn't get into the true document.

Save the Constitution. Save America. Also Australia if you have some spare time.

Consitutional Rights are a Myth

Dear American Tea Party,

I keep hearing you talk about defending the core values of the Constitution and in the same breath talk about second amendment rights. Maybe it's just the outsider's perspective I've gained in my time leading the Australian Tea Party, but you all sound a bit silly. I'll just get to the facts.

The amendments are just that, amendments. They are not the core values of the Constitution. In fact, if you had your history straight you'd know that the amendments were added after the fact as a political move. To drum up support they promised to throw in some measures after the fact.

The Bill of Rights is the first earmark. Think about that a bit.

These are the very same tactics used by the Democrats to force through their socialist healthcare bill. Remember Obama's promise to not allow funding for abortions? Oh but then it wasn't okay, was it? You're just fine with politicians messing with the founding principles of our country, scribbling in ten amendments all at once; but when someone tries to preserve human life, you get mad?

Tomorrow I will address the many dangers present in this so-called bill of rights, which in reality only makes us less free.

I was about to declare Mission Accomplished

We'd made so much progress in Australia. And then disaster struck.

Fascists have stuck a virtual real life Jew star on the shoulder of our inspiration: Gnomeaggedon. He has been forced to flee his home of Gnomeregon, an exile when Big Brother started asking too many questions.

So familiar...

First they came for the Facebook kiddies and I said nothing, because I'd stopped using Facebook years ago. Then they came from the gnomes and I am saying something because I know how this poem usually ends.

I wonder if Obama recently bought a few shares of Blizzard stock. That might explain where all that bailout money went.

Fight on!

What the Keynseyans aren't telling us

Their beloved socialist construction projects cause massive traffic problems. The resulting costs and waste of time cause more job losses than are 'created' by the spending.

Why history classes are bad

It is an established fact that things used to be better in America. Only socialists think America wasn't perfect before they came and ruined it all. Go back to Russia!

As Mark Twain once said "those who do not learn history are bound to repeat it."

So donncha think it makes sense that if we stopped learning about all those bad things in history like hippies protesting and oil spills, that maybe we'd go back to simpler, better times?

What we stand for

As the leader of the Australian Tea Party, it is my job to spread a clear message so that the grass roots organizations know what they're supposed to think.

1) End the government takeover of the Institute of Health and Welfare. In addition, liberate its information which is held under government lock and key, making it inaccessible to the market and therefore useless.

2) Ban the Socialist Parties in Australia to ensure freedom of property and therefore political expression. Yes I did say plural: they go by many names. Just like Satan.

3) End the welfare system which promotes the existence of lazy Aboriginal groups or whatever politically correct term they pretend to prefer. They're not Australians and shouldn't be taking the money or rights of natural-born Australians.

4) End the Propaganda Departments known as the "Australian Bureau of Meteorology" and "Australia Department of Climate Change".

5) Extend the ban on small breasts (a measure to prevent pedophilia) to cover (literally) all breasts in order to end prostitution and unwanted pregnancies which result in abortions.

6) Remove all government control of the Internet and computer-based e-commerce.

[edit] I cannot imagine how it slipped my mind, I guess it's a common problem for Americans:
7) No foreign-born people in office!

Australian Fascist Internet

Not so long ago I was considering declaring Mission Accomplished and leaving Australia to flourish in my absence. Alas, democracy and freedom have not yet taken root there. Quite the opposite: They're killing Gnomaggedon.

The fascist socialist managed economy of Australia has resulted in a stiffling 20gb per month limit. Imagine that. Reminds me a lot of the shortages in oh, the Soviet Union! I wonder what's next.

I'll tell you what's next, resistance! It is time to fight back! Save Gnomeaggedon! Save Australia!

Muslim healthcare: Obama's next step?

As we all know, the Kenyan Muslim who calls himself the President of the United States has a simple agenda: Kill old people, socialize everything, and give terrorists free reign.

Well he's knocking out two birds with one stone: He's allowing Muslims to run free clinics in poor neighborhoods: "guided by the tenants of Islam."

As well all know, you get what you pay for. Well free probably means they just kill the patients. Including the poor old people. Or maybe they convert them.

Imagine that, the ghettos full of disillusioned gangbangers being converted to Islam. They could easily make an army bigger than any Muslim nation. Oh wait no... that's the US army, after Obama called it a Muslim nation.

There we have it, free (socialist) clinics which offer a simple choice: convert or die. All under the watch of Obama.

Proof that we need smaller government, always

Ask an American who they think is the greatest President and the odds are good that you'll get someone like Lincoln, Reagan, FDR, or Washington. A moron here and there will say W Bush, who oversaw one of the biggest and most intrusive expansions of government since... FDR? As a tea party supporter I cannot condone that behavior.

But back to the Presidents. Washington comes up a lot, seemingly regardless of political affiliation. People think he was so wonderful. In a way he was: he knew very well the harm from big government and tried, unsuccessfully, to limit it. And he was the problem. Oh? Yes.

George Washington owes thousands of dollars worth of fines along with two books which are not and never were his. Hm... sounds a bit like the Federal government which he helped to found.

Like Founding Father, like Son.

Welfare epics are coming

"There are currently no welfare epics in WoW. There is easy to get gear. But none of it is truly free. I say we change that.

Any player who is not in a raid for two weeks in a row should be sent a trophy of the crusade. If they are out of raid for an additional eight weeks (for a total of ten), they should be sent a 5 frost emblems for each week they have been out, counted retroactively, so the initial payment would be 50 frost emblems and then 5 the next week, and so on.

As I write this, hundreds of thousands of players are out of raids. As they spend more and more time away, their emblems are slowly depleted and the random heroics are not sufficient to keep them afloat. Some have suggested raising the 'minimum emblem' of randoms. This is a sound suggestion, but it is insufficient. We must enact support immediately to pull the many non-raiders above the gearscore line, or they may be lost forever. Their gear falls behind, the heroics can't meet their emblem costs, and we end up with yet another neglected and undignified mass of the Gear Score Poor (GSP).

Some would say they should have to make their own way, that handouts will do nothing. That's an easy claim to make when you have a GS of over 5500 and a steady raid. Imagine if you were below the gearscore line and had been for years. What hope is left? That's what this is about: bringing back hope to the hundreds of thousands of neglected GSP.

Maybe some are lazy. But how many have been pushed away due to their class? Not everyone has the ability to reroll to match the nerf trends. To fix this problem, I am suggesting that anyone out of raid for more than 20 weeks be given the experience bonus of 'recruit-a-friend', without needing a friend, to assist them in rerolling to an in-demand class. And how many others have been pushed away by claims of 'racial imbalance', held back for the appearance they chose? For too long the dwarf paladins endured jokes about their gun racial. For too long gnome warriors have asked how that intellect buff is working for them. No more. I propose a race-blind law which makes it bannable for anyone to be denied a raid or instant group on account of their race.

Furthermore, our flight paths are crumbling. I propose a new 'Ahn'Qiraj' event to employ crafters and gathereres and create newer, faster, safer flight paths.

Together we can look towards a better future. Such as tomorrow, when we will enact the first emblem tax, a 5% tax on frost emblems from raids, intended to support the welfare program."

That is the dream of the liberal fascist socialists who are taking over. Do you want to live in that Austramerica? NO! And we will not. We will fight this. Tomorrow, join me in mailing teabags to Ghostcrawler. He might have absolutely nothing to do with anything I just said, but he's visible and it's too much work to actually research who we are attacking.

Life's many changes

After a bit of discussion with advising parties, I've decided to make some big changes to my life. Real and virtual.

I see the clouds of media censorship and fascism rolling over Australia. Unchecked, I see no reason why they will not spread. While I don't care the slightest bit about Australians, since they all seem to play Alliance, I am afraid of a domino effect. From Australia it could spread to New Zealand. And that could mean the end of Flight of the Concords. That would ruin the lives of my brothers. I cannot have that.

It is for this reason that I am departing within a few days for Australia to form the Australian Tea Party. For the most part I'm going to stick to the formula of blaming whoever happens to be in power, Hitler mustaches, and not making the slightest bit of sense. I heard you have a Gordon in office. Or maybe that's Britain. I should probably check on that. But whoever he is, he's a fascist. A socialist fascist media-censoring freedom-hating Hitler 2.0.

I'm not sure where I'll stay, but I heard Gnomeaggedon has a house, so I'm going to see if I can hide in his garage.

You might have noticed Obama has been taking off his shirt, as if to suggest he's about to kick some ass. I bet he could. But I'm not going to be outdone by that Kenyan Hussein. I'm going to be down to just my socks. And that means it's business time.

I also mentioned virtual lives. Well, my time as a troll or paladin or troll paladin is over. I'm tired of quest after quest that glorifies violence and makes us out to be heroic victims. I'm rerolling a gnome. A gnome paladin. Those aren't out yet? I know. I guess I'm going to be sitting at the character creation screen for a long time. I can be patient.

Down with the fascist Australian Hitler!