What we stand for

As the leader of the Australian Tea Party, it is my job to spread a clear message so that the grass roots organizations know what they're supposed to think.

1) End the government takeover of the Institute of Health and Welfare. In addition, liberate its information which is held under government lock and key, making it inaccessible to the market and therefore useless.

2) Ban the Socialist Parties in Australia to ensure freedom of property and therefore political expression. Yes I did say plural: they go by many names. Just like Satan.

3) End the welfare system which promotes the existence of lazy Aboriginal groups or whatever politically correct term they pretend to prefer. They're not Australians and shouldn't be taking the money or rights of natural-born Australians.

4) End the Propaganda Departments known as the "Australian Bureau of Meteorology" and "Australia Department of Climate Change".

5) Extend the ban on small breasts (a measure to prevent pedophilia) to cover (literally) all breasts in order to end prostitution and unwanted pregnancies which result in abortions.

6) Remove all government control of the Internet and computer-based e-commerce.

[edit] I cannot imagine how it slipped my mind, I guess it's a common problem for Americans:
7) No foreign-born people in office!