Consitutional Rights are a Myth

Dear American Tea Party,

I keep hearing you talk about defending the core values of the Constitution and in the same breath talk about second amendment rights. Maybe it's just the outsider's perspective I've gained in my time leading the Australian Tea Party, but you all sound a bit silly. I'll just get to the facts.

The amendments are just that, amendments. They are not the core values of the Constitution. In fact, if you had your history straight you'd know that the amendments were added after the fact as a political move. To drum up support they promised to throw in some measures after the fact.

The Bill of Rights is the first earmark. Think about that a bit.

These are the very same tactics used by the Democrats to force through their socialist healthcare bill. Remember Obama's promise to not allow funding for abortions? Oh but then it wasn't okay, was it? You're just fine with politicians messing with the founding principles of our country, scribbling in ten amendments all at once; but when someone tries to preserve human life, you get mad?

Tomorrow I will address the many dangers present in this so-called bill of rights, which in reality only makes us less free.

I was about to declare Mission Accomplished

We'd made so much progress in Australia. And then disaster struck.

Fascists have stuck a virtual real life Jew star on the shoulder of our inspiration: Gnomeaggedon. He has been forced to flee his home of Gnomeregon, an exile when Big Brother started asking too many questions.

So familiar...

First they came for the Facebook kiddies and I said nothing, because I'd stopped using Facebook years ago. Then they came from the gnomes and I am saying something because I know how this poem usually ends.

I wonder if Obama recently bought a few shares of Blizzard stock. That might explain where all that bailout money went.

Fight on!

What the Keynseyans aren't telling us

Their beloved socialist construction projects cause massive traffic problems. The resulting costs and waste of time cause more job losses than are 'created' by the spending.

Why history classes are bad

It is an established fact that things used to be better in America. Only socialists think America wasn't perfect before they came and ruined it all. Go back to Russia!

As Mark Twain once said "those who do not learn history are bound to repeat it."

So donncha think it makes sense that if we stopped learning about all those bad things in history like hippies protesting and oil spills, that maybe we'd go back to simpler, better times?

What we stand for

As the leader of the Australian Tea Party, it is my job to spread a clear message so that the grass roots organizations know what they're supposed to think.

1) End the government takeover of the Institute of Health and Welfare. In addition, liberate its information which is held under government lock and key, making it inaccessible to the market and therefore useless.

2) Ban the Socialist Parties in Australia to ensure freedom of property and therefore political expression. Yes I did say plural: they go by many names. Just like Satan.

3) End the welfare system which promotes the existence of lazy Aboriginal groups or whatever politically correct term they pretend to prefer. They're not Australians and shouldn't be taking the money or rights of natural-born Australians.

4) End the Propaganda Departments known as the "Australian Bureau of Meteorology" and "Australia Department of Climate Change".

5) Extend the ban on small breasts (a measure to prevent pedophilia) to cover (literally) all breasts in order to end prostitution and unwanted pregnancies which result in abortions.

6) Remove all government control of the Internet and computer-based e-commerce.

[edit] I cannot imagine how it slipped my mind, I guess it's a common problem for Americans:
7) No foreign-born people in office!

Australian Fascist Internet

Not so long ago I was considering declaring Mission Accomplished and leaving Australia to flourish in my absence. Alas, democracy and freedom have not yet taken root there. Quite the opposite: They're killing Gnomaggedon.

The fascist socialist managed economy of Australia has resulted in a stiffling 20gb per month limit. Imagine that. Reminds me a lot of the shortages in oh, the Soviet Union! I wonder what's next.

I'll tell you what's next, resistance! It is time to fight back! Save Gnomeaggedon! Save Australia!

Muslim healthcare: Obama's next step?

As we all know, the Kenyan Muslim who calls himself the President of the United States has a simple agenda: Kill old people, socialize everything, and give terrorists free reign.

Well he's knocking out two birds with one stone: He's allowing Muslims to run free clinics in poor neighborhoods: "guided by the tenants of Islam."

As well all know, you get what you pay for. Well free probably means they just kill the patients. Including the poor old people. Or maybe they convert them.

Imagine that, the ghettos full of disillusioned gangbangers being converted to Islam. They could easily make an army bigger than any Muslim nation. Oh wait no... that's the US army, after Obama called it a Muslim nation.

There we have it, free (socialist) clinics which offer a simple choice: convert or die. All under the watch of Obama.